Steven Wright's Grandfather

KRAMER quotes in "Funny you should mention that", this blog:

"Steven Wright complains about his mean grandfather:
When I was little my grandfather asked me how old I was. I said, "Five." He said, "When I was your age, I was six"
I can’t articulate why that’s funny. Maybe the impossibility of the grandfather’s claim suggests the enormity of the insult, which we must remember is being delivered by someone who should be doing just the opposite. I’d like to hear a Gricean analysis of that one."
Or not!
---

Wright:

"When I was little my grandfather asked
me how old I was."

--- here the script echoes the Carlin. It's like a historical past. A "would" scenario. People are usually asking questions "How old are you?" to 'kids'. The question here seems already inappropriate in that a good grandfather SHOULD know. That DOES depend on the number of grandchildren a grandfather has. But I know that "when I was little" *I* would be VERY surprised if MY grandfather asked me how old _I_ was.

"I said, "Five.""

There is a lot of technique. Cfr. the clumsier, "When I was five, my grandfather once asked me how old I was. I responded, naturally, that I was five".

----

So, this suggests that it's leading to a sort of snappy answer to a stupid question in reverse. Alla Humpty Dumpty:

"How old did you say you were?"
"Nine"
"Wrong! You never said such a thing!"

----

Wright continues:

"He said, "When I was your age, I was six.""

----- There is a 'schema' for this. When I was reading Sainsbury I learned about them. This is the overdoing scheme. Sainsbury speaks of the "Colonel Blimp" schema, the "Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells" schema, etc.

---- So, the point is a clear one: People. People are LIKE that. Note that, while I agree with Kramer's point of the analysis, about the "impossibility of stating Grandpa's claim", or in his precise words:

"Maybe the impossibility of the grandfather’s claim suggests the enormity of the insult, which we must remember is being delivered by someone who should be doing just the opposite."

But note TWO Points

1. Scare quotes. Actually this is how I first got the joke on first reading. I thought there was a lie involved.

2. Second-order or 'good advice' in the long run. Which is HOW I got the joke on first reading, too.

Re: (1), I first thought the grandpa was lying -- and that this was the liar-paradox with a vengeance.

"When I was five, I was six". The lie is so obscene that it requires some double quotes. This can fall, naturally, on 'five' or 'six', yielding the TRUE (unparadoxical, unlike the Liar-paradox claim):

--- a) "When I was 'five', I was six."
He was really SIX. This is NOT funny.

--- b) "When I was five, I was 'six'"
------ This IS funny.

Ad 2. Grandpa IS advising. Kramer wrote:

"Maybe the impossibility of the grandfather’s claim
suggests the enormity of the insult, which we must
remember is being delivered by someone who should
be doing just the opposite."

Provided you DO take it as an insult. I don't. If I were to take as insult what I overhear and hear from people I guess I should shoot myself! People are SO Insulting. I think Grandpa is being nice. He is saying, 'pretend you are maturer than you are'.

It's Polonius, with a vengeance.

Or not.